I’m in a funny place these days. The past two years have brought so much change, pain, insight, and plain old confusion. Simply put, I’m lost, and when I’m lost, I write. So here goes…
In 2020, we collectively came to terms with a pandemic, ignorance and deadly politics that were unforgivable, in my humble opinion. The start of 2021 came in like a quiet, sleeping beast. Then, January 6th rolled around, and the country lost it’s damn mind! An attempted coup at the Capitol, our sacred, national shrine, paralyzed us as we watched it unfold on live television. I sat then with a sinking feeling in my gut, very similar to the feeling I’ve had for the past 24 hours.
Is it possible that the person responsible for this action, the one that could’ve ended it, will never be held accountable for the damage caused by his malignant narcissism? The deadly events that unfolded did so, and will continue to do so as long as this conman struggles to stay out of prison, not just for this, but for all the crimes he’s committed in his lifetime.
Newsflash: That’s what this is all about: one man’s efforts to avoid prison, and nothing else. Prison will destroy him. I can’t even imagine what would become of him if he ever donned the orange jumpsuit. But I will feel exactly zero remorse. In an effort to stay free, he will run again for office to make himself immune to prosecution. Simply put, if he dies in office, he’ll never go to jail. That, I believe, is the goal – is HIS goal – at any cost. We will all suffer because of it, even his staunchest supporters. He’s not stupid when it comes to himself. That’s what malignant narcissism is: an inability to feel empathy, to admit any fault or deficiency, and to always put himself first, even above close family members. And he will turn on family, eventually, when his feet get too close to the fire. He has to! He can’t help it – he is mentally ill. He is incapable of doing the right thing because the science tells us this.
Don’t believe me? Don’t want to look up the traits of malignant narcissism (and there are more than what I mentioned)? Don’t feel like consulting with a psychotherapist or analyst?
Fine. If you are one of those people who disagrees with me, you will never agree because you’ve dismissed science in the first place. So I can say that Darwinism, which you don’t believe in, will do its thing. That is, sadly, very preventable. Don’t underestimate the power of the natural world.
We humans have the capacity to think, to question, to analyze, to solve, to care for something or someone other than ourselves. This sustains us and our collective continuity. This is why we are still around as a species. We’ve learned how to use our thoughts and reason to cross oceans, to grow crops in massive amounts, to make artificial limbs, to transplant hearts, livers, lungs, corneas, to travel to space, to make vaccines that will combat those forces that can take us out. It’s an adaptation for our survival, the same way that other species adapted their respective abilities to stay alive (like camouflage, the growth of limbs, lungs and thumbs, the development of lethal toxins to ward off challenges from other species, etc.).
And if you believe in God, you believe He/She doesn’t make mistakes. We were given this mental capacity for a reason: to improve our lives and to stay alive!
But we also do stupid things with our innate power of choice. Face it: When was the last time you watched another species (a cow, a dog, a turtle, a bacteria) get in a car and wrap it around a tree because they drank too much? It’s a funny thing to envision, but not funny because we should know better, given our advanced brains. We sure can be so very stupid!
The ability to think, to question, to analyze, to solve, to CHOOSE at this high level exists only in humanity. The ability to destroy, to lie, to neglect, also, only exists there.
Think about it.
I sit here this New Year’s Day morning, typing and trying to make sense of my thoughts and emotions. Yet, I’m still in my funk from last night. My reflection on the past year brings about pain, sadness, loss, and very little hope. I see death everywhere I turn. Sure, there were things that affected me positively in 2021. But they seem so irrelevant as I observe the larger problems all around me.
I will be 53 this year, and it feels to me that growing old means I’m living just to watch others die. My dear, late friend Stanley Kay used to say that growing old meant growing lonely, as you watch dear family and friends go before you.
Death doesn’t scare me. Loneliness, on the other hand, terrifies me!
My New Year’s plea to everyone is to simply use your God-given, very human brains in the upcoming days. Take care of life – in EVERY form – not just the human one. Study history so you know the terrible mistakes we’ve made, and so you can see the warning signs of repetition when they appear! Be proactive when it comes to your community and your health, since that level of involvement IS within your scope of power.
God created humans with all sorts of gifts and talents. Do you think God would approve of you neglecting the fruits of our species’ collective labor?
I implore everyone to get vaccinated!!! Do your homework!
It takes an entire planet – not just a village.